I couldn’t help notice one little thing though, a press release from my favourite right-wing pinata, Tory Candidate for North East Somerset,  Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Now the election is on, it’s going to be a lot harder to hide from the media!

The release is pretty dull and biographical, though Jacob lives down to my expectations and lets us know what he’s really all about in the first paragraph:

Jacob Rees – Mogg was selected as candidate for the newly formed constituency of North East Somerset, (formerly Wansdyke), in 2007 thus fulfilling his ambition to represent the Somerset parliamentary seat in which his family has lived for generations.

So there we have it. He must already be the MP since he has fulfilled his ambition. He’s already won, and may have done so as long ago as 2007!

In fairness, it seems Rees-Mogg didn’t write this one himself (either). A quick look at the properties box of the word document reveals that it was written by someone at Northgate Information Systems. A quick googling suggests that this is a company based in Hemel Hempstead.

Normally I wouldn’t bother with this last bit, though it has caught out our dear JRM before, when he had a politically restricted council press officer to write his releases!

Constituents may be shocked to learn that the Takeover Panel’s investigation of Kraft’s acquisition of Cadbury’s is NOT as a result of Rees-Mogg’s letter to them.

Of course Rees-Mogg wrote a letter to the panel, it is believed (so I am told) that the investigation was launched following a request from the Business, Innovation and Skills Dept as soon as the decision to close Somerdale was announced.

Obviously this was well before Rees-Mogg, late in the day, as ever, tried to do anything about this. What it all means is that having been utterly silent on the issue for several weeks Rees-Mogg has tried to bag the credit for precipitating something that was already in motion.

It is my understanding that The Takeover Panel DO NOT comment to the media or anybody else on what investigations they are carrying out. Therefore, news that they ARE investigating this can only have come from an unofficial source. I have no idea who this might be, but it could well be a case of “friends in the City”. Rees-Mogg cannot even have received a letter from the Panel saying so, because such documents do not exist.

To Rees-Mogg’s actual credit, as opposed to the credit he tends to claim, he’s very consistent in the way he works. Say nothing until you have to, then not just hop on, but pretend you were driving the bandwagon all along!

Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Tory PPC for North-East Somerset, really is the comedy Tory gift who keeps on giving. (Giving tax benefits to the super-rich that is, ho ho!)

His latest gaffe, since November, sees him once again faking he truth.

Private Eye picked this one up, and in the Christmas edition explained how he shipped a London-based member of his London-based investment firm staff on a 260 mile (about 420km) round trip to Midsomer Norton to take part in a photo opportunity to illustrate his website.

Here’s a scan of the article:

However, what Private Eye doesn’t tell you is that the very same picture, also appears on the front page of Rees-Mogg’s latest hard copy newsletter which has been circulated across N E Somerset, under the title of “Honesty on the Economy”. Take a look:

If you head over to this page on Rees-Mogg’s London based hedge-fund management company and scroll down to the bottom, in last place you have Fiona Tyrrell. Then, if you head to his political website you’ll see the same picture Private Eye was talking about.

If you still in any doubt, right-click the image and choose “save as” and you’ll find that Rees-Muggins has even named the picture “Fiona”.

In fairness, the caption “Honesty on the Economy. Jacob talking to a lady in Midsomer Norton” is technically true. That is Jacob. Fiona is a lady. The pair of them are in Somerset. Her mouth is presumably moving.

Actually, Jacob isn’t allowed to talk any more. Conservative Central Headquarters issued a gagging order after he told The Scotsman in October 2001:

I gradually realised that whatever I happened to be speaking about, the number of voters in my favour dropped as soon as I opened my mouth.

Looks like there is a theme emerging here from Honesty Mogg. Time to add this one to the list, having been in trouble for plagiarising Trevor Kavanagh from The Sun he now has to fabricate ‘in the constituency with constituents’ pictures to give an impression he’s connected to the community.

I’ll leave you with this thought for Christmas; the Rees-Muggins newsletter was delivered by the Royal Mail. I suppose his crumbling campaign means he has no local volunteers to deliver for him!

Click here to see other classic Ress-Mogg gaffes.

Jan 6th Update: Venue Magazine has also featured the story as their main news article, to supplement other pieces in The Telegraph, in The Daily Mail and a little bit in The Independent. Nothing from The Times, not that that would have anything to do with Rees-Mogg’s father as former editor and columnist, of course.

Finally, can anybody tell me why I published this on December 23rd, yet the Nationals waited until December 28th/29th? Guys, come on, a little credit here.

Presenting his latest blooper is always a difficult challenge. Though it’s fun to laugh at a hopelessly useless traditional out-of-touch Tory, it’s also important to remember he is selected for a super-marginal. This bloke could be an MP within months.

In addition to plagiarising The Sun, having council taxpayers’ resources used to promote him, forgetting where he really lives, and hoping for a recession to keep his gold valuable, (See the list!) now he’s put out another leaflet. Here’s the front:

Rees-Mogg has at least learned one lesson and has started to write his own copy. You can tell it’s him because nobody else would start a statement on MPs’ Expenses by talking about Stuarts, Tudors, Shakespeare and MacBeth! It’s as if he is trying to strangle you with his Eton school tie. (Yes, he’s one of those Tories, don’t act surprised.)

The whole leaflet is amusingly awful, but there is something you should draw your attention to; on the back, where Rees-Mogg is attempting to trumpet some Tory successes. I’ve drawn a red ring around it:

The start of a massive £2.5m overhaul of children’s play areas throughout the area, including Midsomer Norton.

The reference to the 2.5 million quid for play equipment is fascinating; I’m not sure whether it’s a mistake because he hasn’t got his facts right, was improperly briefed by the Tory Council, or if it’s just a classic lie.

In fact this £2.5 million is government money – nothing to do with B&NES, the Tories, or even B&NES Tories.

Back in April 2008 the government announced “Labour’s Children’s Plan” in which Bath & North East Somerset was selected as a “Pathfinder” one of just 20 authorities to get funding of this type, specifically to create new play areas for young people.

Jacob Rees-Mogg is claiming either that his Tory pals on the Council magically conjured up two and a half million pounds to fund play areas in order to match that of the government, or more likely just false credit-bagging for something they didn’t do.

Far from being a Tory success, I’d wager (£2.5 million, if I had it!) that B&NES was made a top priority area thanks to someone from Somerset lobbying the government, someone in government perhaps, like Labour MP Dan Norris, the very man Rees-Mogg is trying to oust!

To put it simply, for the likes of hard-of-thinking Tory candidates: The £2.5 million isn’t a Tory success but a Labour one!

Is it just a typical Tory trait that Jacob Rees-Mogg has tried to claim credit for something his rival has achieved?

More likely, I suspect that it’s another major blooper by an out-of-touch candidate who has become a gross embarrassment to the Tory Party!

Previously, he’s plagiarised the Sun, misappropriated council resources and claimed his house adjacent to Hyde Park makes him a local Somerset bloke. (See here for the list)

This time though, it’s worth exposing a more malicious side to who we usually dismiss as a comedy Tory.

BBC News ran a story at the beginning of the month (here), and a follow up story last week (here), on the price of gold, which explained that:

The precious metal reached a record high of more than $1,065 an ounce on Tuesday morning.

This is incredibly good news for the Tory PPC for North-East Somerset. In an interview with MoneyWeek, he said:

“The notes you take out of your pocket are worthless. Gold isn’t, though: it has rarity and it’s a store of value.”

Then he was asked if he had any specific tips, and told his chums:

Yes: buy gold. I keep a gold stock in all of my portfolios and think that they are still offering attractive value.

Looks like Rees-Mogg is (even further) in the money!

McRees-Mogg: Hooray for all my gold!

The most telling thing you will ever read about Jacob Rees-Mogg, more than all the gaffe, bloopers and mistakes he will ever make, is this response:

The strongest argument for gloom in the near future is that we have had 12 years of continuous growth and that has never happened before, so it is about time we had a recession.

Did you catch that? Read it again.

We need a recession because gold keeps its value, and I’ve got loads of it!

It says a lot about the Tory Party and how much they have / haven’t changed that they’re willing to let this man anywhere near Parliament.

You can see him now, with his notional constituents, talking about how he’s just like them trying to do everything he can in tough economic times, but really thinking about his lovely stacks of increasingly valuable gold, thanks to a recession he’d been waiting 12 years for.

For an upcoming event posted on his MyConservatives profile (here) entitled Somerset comes to Westminster, his prospective future constituents will be expected to make the trek to London (about £30 and an hour and a half by train).

The details explain:

Jacob is holding a fundraising event at his home in Westminster for his campaign in Somerset.

“His home in Westminster”! Eton and Oxford (yes he’s one of those) didn’t teach him much geography.

Westminster isn’t in Somerset, but it would be silly to leave the comfort of his City offices (hedge and pension fund managing) when he can make the constituency come to him instead.

Of course it would be wrong of me to assume that he doesn’t have two or more houses, but it does go to show his invitation is to his city-slicker friends than ‘Country Bumpkins’ of Somerset. His claims of living there ring a little hollow.

Still, at least it saves him a journey in the Roller… or the Bentley.

The Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for North-East Somerset had previously been caught out for plagiarising an article in the Sun and sending it to Somersetters. Once the discovery was made, however, he apologised immediately and explained it was in fact a staff member who was in the wrong.

Then a huge number of spelling mistakes and typing errors were found on his website. I would link to it, but it has in fact been taken down and amalgamated into a generic Tory Party site for being too much of an embarrassment.

This time, it seems he hasn’t learned any lessons.
This time, it seems a little more serious.

Private Eye, the satirical magazine, wrote a little article in its “Rotten Boroughs” section (click to see a scan in .jpg form), which was then picked up by local media.

The story is fairly straight forward. A ‘politically restricted’ Press Officer working for the B&NES council has been writing Conservative-issue press releases for JRM.

Two press releases issued by Margaret Brewer (JRM’s press agent in North-East Somerset) were emailed to several journalists as Word attachments – the ‘properties’ box revealed them to have been written by James Hinchcliffe on a B&NES computer during a working week day. The ‘properties’ box was also the source of Rees-Mogg’s downfall over the plagiarism scandal, so you have to admire his invincible ignorance.

Hinchcliffe was at the time the politically-restricted Tory group researcher on B&NES (as the Private Eye article explains) – this means banana skin-prone JRM has benefited from a Council officer, paid by the council tax payer to conduct Council work, misusing the time & resources provided to him for said Council work – making JRM the beneficiary of a misuse of council resources.

His own expenses scandal before even becoming an MP. Ra-Ra Jacob!

You can also click here (.jpg) to read the Western Daily Press article.